I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I wish you could order shots online.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I love having hate sex.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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