You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize