Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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