i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
