Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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