im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
