At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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