I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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