Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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