Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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