is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
