Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
