Moan for me like Helen Keller
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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