I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
