his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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