i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize