ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
