Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
