Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize