I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
