i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
