dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
