Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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