he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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