It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
