I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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