Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
