We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
