I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
