was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
how drunk are you?
Several
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
