so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
