'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
