but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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