If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
