U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
