I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the day after is always just damage control
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
