pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
