Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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