I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
