I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
