Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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