I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
