Where are you?
In a non slutty way
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If its not for food we ain't going out.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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