Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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