but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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