I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
