So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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