Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
How's work?
Spinning.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
