so explain again why im purple
no
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
