I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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