I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
