I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Randomize
