what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
