I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
