just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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