her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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