I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
