We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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