Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
