im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
