We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
