I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
